Sometimes we do things because we fee it’s the nice thing to do and while we may have good intentions, the result of our actions end up being the opposite of what we hoped for.
This brings to mind an old saying that goes like this:
“Feed a man a fish and he eats for a day, but teach a man a fish and he eats for a lifetime”.
Wise words eh? Now think for a moment, Of the two choices, regarding another person which leads to the best outcome?
Well you could go for the first choice, problem is the person in need doesn’t ever learn how to take personal responsibility for himself. Instead, he learns how to rely on the one thats going to do for stuff him over and over and over again. In other words, your not not really helping him you are enabling him to become a burden on others even when you are not around. Again, your intentions are good, and it may be easier to just feed the man rather than invest the time and energy to teach him how to provide for himself.
However, you are hurting not only him but yourself and all that care about him as well. In other words everyone loses.
Yes, you may say to yourself that tough love sucks. But how do we make it so that our friend truly benefits in the long-term?
Well, take the time to teach your friend a skill? This may become a real investment of time but now he grows not only in self-confidence but he learns to do for himself and is no longer a problem for others. In fact, he has the chance to spread the love and by doing so he can assist others who may be in need.
With all that said, to be nice isn’t always about doing whats easy. It’s about doing what is best overall.